"I am delighted to see a considered and sustainable approach to negotiation that understands that actions, words and fairness have an impact that continues far beyond the signing of a deal."
Edward C. Prescott, Ph.D., Winner of the Nobel Prize for Economics
"Finally, a clear-eyed how-to book that understands that negotiation is not just about terms, but about people. Beyond Dealmaking shows us how to make lasting agreements based on understanding, fairness and respect. Filled with fascinating stories of negotiations of every type, this is a book that everyone can learn from to improve their work and their lives-and maybe even ease the burden on our overloaded courts."
Betty Roberts, Former Oregon Supreme Court Justice
Five Steps to Negotiating Profitable Relationships
by Melanie Billings-Yun, Ph.D.
Why do so many people dislike negotiation? "I'm not any good at confrontation," you may be thinking. "You've got to be clever at outwitting the other side, bluffing, reading minds, spinning information, fast-talking." Or, you might say, "I'm too nice/honest/ soft-spoken to be a negotiator." Or simply, "I don't like fighting."
It's time to clear up these paralyzing misconceptions. Negotiation is not the art of war. As the most successful businesspeople know, it's the process of connecting with others, resolving your differences, and coming up with solutions that will allow you to collaborate profitably and satisfyingly into the future. In short, it's about creating a relationship.
Few of the negotiations you will take part in over your lifetime will involve one-time transactions, such as buying or selling a car. Mostly you will negotiate with people with whom you have ongoing relationships: regular suppliers, repeat customers, bosses, employees, team members, co-workers, neighbors, family members. If you negotiate transactionally, focusing only on getting your terms, you will find yourself at an increasing distance from the people with whom you regularly deal, and less and less able to get them to give you what you want. If, on the other hand, you approach them from a relationship-oriented perspective, each encounter will become easier, more positive, and ultimately more productive.
Based on Melanie Billings-Yun's nearly two decades as an international negotiator and consultant, Beyond Dealmaking shows you how to get the outcomes you want while developing mutually beneficial working relationships through the simple yet powerful GRASP method:
- Considering the Goals of all parties
- Developing Routes to maximize mutual benefit and promote synergy
- Using valid Arguments to build openness, trust and common understanding
- Benchmarking Substitutes to keep relationships from growing stale or one-sided
- Increasing your Persuasion through empathetic communication and genuine care.
Whether you're tired of being taken advantage of, are fed up at having hard-fought negotiations collapse before they can bear fruit, or are looking for a more positive way of resolving differences, Beyond Dealmaking will show you how to reap tangible, even amazing results as negotiation goes from painful and punishing to positive and rewarding. Even those who cringe at the sound of raised voices can learn to be master negotiators, as you discover that the greatest victories come not through fighting battles but through establishing profitable and satisfying relationships.
Praise for Beyond Dealmaking
"Every potential rainmaker and fierce competitor needs Melanie Billings-Yun's GRASP method for negotiation. You'll never have to search for leads again. I highly recommend this book."
Jeffrey J. Fox, Author of How to Be a Rainmaker and How to Be a Fierce Competitor
"The greatest business lesson of the 21st century is that we have to think sustainably. Beyond Dealmaking demonstrates persuasively how this process can and must start at the negotiating table. Melanie's smart, friendly style makes her the perfect guide to show you how to negotiate long-term success by thinking beyond the deal."
Russell Read, Founder and Senior Managing Partner, C Change Investments
"The concepts advocated in Beyond Dealmaking are spot on, particularly for global negotiations and joint ventures such as I routinely deal with in Mergers & Acquisitions. Attention to productive relationships is one element that consistently crosses cultures and geographies. Dr. Billings-Yun captures the essence of a complicated topic concisely, with concrete examples that bring it to life and a conversational tone that makes it a leisurely read."
Jacqui Winship, Director of Corporate Strategy & Business Development, Whirlpool Corporation
"This is the book that I wish I could have written (after being involved for some 28 years in helping others improve their cooperative negotiating skills)!! It is a wonderful complement to Getting to Yes. Melanie argues that 'getting to yes' is important; however, what happens after this (implementation) is equally important and often neglected by 'deal makers'. This is a must read."
Paul Meaney, Managing Consultant, The International Negotiation Academy
"Melanie Billings-Yun has produced an innovative, refreshing approach to negotiation based on her years of practical experience in Asia and around the world. She treats negotiation as an on-going process that forms the core of a successful relationship, not as merely a free-standing transaction. Beyond Dealmaking takes us beyond 'yes' to build the sort of trust that ensures success."
Stephen Bosworth, Dean, The Fletcher School of Law and Diplomacy, Tufts University
"Replete with real-life examples, Beyond Dealmaking makes a compelling case for paying attention to relationships throughout the negotiation process. Stepping back from the details of the deal, this book focuses on the bigger picture, engaging people to work together in an authentic way to resolve issues. Dr. Billings-Yun's accessible approach offers negotiators more than merely how to "get to yes" but, more importantly, how to stay there."
Carol Frohlinger, Co-author of Her Place at the Table: A Woman's Guide to Negotiating Five Key Challenges to Leadership Success
"Melanie Billings-Yun captures the essence of thinking strategically for long-term mutually beneficial results thru effective and efficient negotiating skills. Beyond Dealmaking is a practical guide on how to think differently (and positively!) for lasting results, whether at home, in your community or in corporate board rooms around the world.
William Tung, Vice President of Latin America/Asia Pacific, Columbia Sportswear
"In Asia we have long known the importance of relationships in creating a successful and sustainable business. Unfortunately, this lesson is lost on many in the West who go after the quick deal, only to see their fortunes fall just as quickly. Beyond Dealmaking is a great antidote to this short-term thinking. I highly recommend it to all who negotiate in Asia or anywhere in the world."
Young-Ho Park, President & CEO, SK Holdings
"What a wonderful book on a difficult subject: an enjoyable read and a refreshing, natural and straightforward approach to negotiation. Business anywhere is conducted on the basis of relationships and in my experience the best business is based on superior relationships. We would all do well to be reminded of these principles which transcend markets, business types, culture and geography."
Lane Kagey, COO, LGInternational
"Beyond Dealmaking gets you thinking about what "the deal" means to a long term business relationship: much like the wedding is to a successful marriage it is only a first step. Melanie gives the reader the insight and tools needed to plan for and negotiate agreements that will be the basis for long standing and mutually beneficial business relationships."
Matthew Gerber, President and CEO, SprayCool
Part Two: The Mind Of The Negotiator
Chapter 4: The Four Pillars of Relationship Negotiation
Chapter 5: Don't Feed the Bears!
Chapter 6: Be Prepared
Part Three: Five Steps To Success
Chapter 7: Goals—What You Really Want
Chapter 8: Routes—How to Get There
Chapter 9: Arguments—Making Your Case
Chapter 10: Substitutes—The Backup Plan
Chapter 11: Persuasion—Winning Them Over
Part Four: Conclusion
Chapter 12: You Can Negotiate!
Appendix: Step-by-Step GRASP Negotiation Planner